robyn isman - child anxiety
In today's fast-paced world, childhood anxiety is becoming increasingly prevalent. In our latest episode, we sat down with therapist Robyn Isman to explore the reasons behind this rise and to uncover practical strategies for parents. Robyn offers a deep dive into how technology, the pandemic, and parenting styles contribute to anxiety, and how we can help our children build resilience.
Understanding the Rise in Childhood Anxiety
Robyn highlights several key factors that have led to the increase in childhood anxiety:
Immediate Gratification and Distraction:
Screens and Devices: Modern technology provides instant entertainment, which can prevent children from learning how to self-regulate their emotions and manage boredom. When children are consistently given screens to calm them, they miss out on opportunities to work through their feelings naturally.
Parental Responses: Often, parents use screens or snacks to quickly soothe their upset children. While this might provide immediate relief, it doesn't help children develop the necessary skills to handle discomfort independently.
Impact of COVID-19:
Disruption in Socialization: The pandemic dramatically altered social interactions, depriving children of essential social development during critical years. This lack of social practice can lead to increased anxiety.
Increased Parental Anxiety: The heightened anxiety of parents during the pandemic has also impacted children, creating a more stressful environment at home.
Parenting Styles:
Permissive/Gentle Parenting: While these parenting styles have many benefits, they can sometimes lead parents to avoid allowing their children to experience discomfort, which is crucial for building resilience. Children need to practice dealing with discomfort to develop emotional strength.
Over-Scheduling: Many children today have highly structured lives with little downtime, leading to increased stress and fewer opportunities to self-regulate.
Cultural Shifts:
Increased Safety Concerns: Heightened awareness of dangers has led to over-protection, limiting children's independence and ability to navigate challenges on their own. This cultural shift contributes to anxiety as children have fewer opportunities to learn how to handle risk and uncertainty.
Generational Anxiety:
Anxious Parents: Today's parents, often grappling with their own anxieties, may inadvertently project their fears onto their children. The cultural climate of fear and safety concerns further exacerbates this anxiety.
Practical Strategies for Parents
Robyn emphasizes the importance of allowing children to experience and manage discomfort to build resilience. Here are some strategies she recommends:
Balanced Use of Technology: While not demonizing screens, it's essential to ensure children have ample opportunities for unstructured play and self-regulation. This balance helps them learn to cope with boredom and discomfort without immediate distraction.
Supporting Emotional Development: Instead of immediately alleviating discomfort, parents should guide their children through their feelings, providing support and encouraging them to work through their emotions naturally.
Tailored Approaches: Recognize the diversity in children's needs, especially those who are neurodivergent. Adjust methods to suit individual circumstances while maintaining the core principle of gradual exposure and skill-building.
Conclusion
Addressing childhood anxiety requires a multifaceted approach, involving changes at both the individual and cultural levels. By understanding the underlying factors and adjusting parenting techniques accordingly, we can better equip our children to navigate their emotions and reduce anxiety. Robyn Isman's insights emphasize the importance of exposure, resilience, and balanced support, aligning with the goal of fostering independent, well-adjusted individuals.
Resources
Website:
https://www.robynisman.com/
Books:
"The Anxious Generation" by Jonathan Haidt
"Small Animals" by Kim Brooks
Articles:
Podcasts:
Parenting Great Kids with Dr. Meg Meeker
By incorporating these strategies and understanding the broader context, parents can help their children develop the resilience needed to thrive in an increasingly complex world.
